My Extra-Ordinary Life

Our friend Kristen, moved by the WitnessSF event, reevaluated her extra ordinary life.

My life is ____________.   What would you fill-in the blank with?

My life is boring. That’s honestly how I had been feeling the last few months, maybe even years because my day-to-day life had become kind of routine. Not that being in a routine is at all bad, it just didn’t have the excitement or unpredictability of other people’s lives. I dreaded people asking me, “What’s new with you?” knowing I would inevitably respond with something along the lines of “Same old same old” or “Nothing much.” I felt defeated. It was through this lens of negativity that I started to think my whole life story was boring and nothing more than ordinary. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy with my “uninteresting” life, I was rather content and comfortable. I just felt that maybe I was missing out on something, that maybe I was missing out on God’s power.

When I heard about WitnessSF, I loved the idea. I really enjoyed the idea of reading about the lives and stories of others, getting to experience God vicariously through a stranger in my city. However, as happy as I was about the blog, I couldn’t enjoy it without feeling a hint of jealousy that I had nothing to share. When I thought about my life, this is how I imagined my story sounded:

“I was raised in a non-Christian home. When I was in junior high school some friends invited me to their church. At the age of 15 I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. However I was poorly equipped to stand up to the temptations and pressures of high school and soon found myself falling away from the church. In my senior year of college my parents told me over the phone they were planning to divorce. The news of their divorce triggered something inside me that made me long for the faithful steadfast love that only God could provide. I rededicated my life to Christ that year and ever since have been learning to accept and depend on His forgiveness and grace.”

While I think my story had the basic elements of a testimony, I just didn’t feel like it was going to impress or touch anyone’s heart the way other stories touched mine. This all changed as I began to unravel a simple truth that God was planting in my heart:

“Nothing God does is ordinary, because of Him I am extraordinary.”

This thought was forming in my mind through bible readings, conversations and finally through the WitnessSF launch party last night (Thank you Jimmy for your words which I know God gave you to touch hearts like mine). I was looking at my story all wrong. I was trying to dazzle the world with miracles, amazing character traits or through extreme circumstances. And while those things do make great testimonies and have the power to touch many lives, so does my story.

We all have different experiences, but it’s important to know that your story was given to you for a purpose. If I look a little deeper at my story I not only see more of my own depravity, but I can see God’s hand in my life. It is only by accurately identifying God’s work and giving Him more credit that my story takes on a new level of meaning and becomes extraordinary.

“I was raised in a dysfunctional family where I never knew what it was like to feel unconditionally loved. My parents fought constantly and I began to feel emotionally withdrawn. No conflict was ever resolved so problems just got swept under the rug until the next fight. I was emotionally mal-adjusted by junior high, so when friends started a trend of “cutting,” I went along with it. God rescued me by connecting me with a new group of friends who led me to church. Church helped me realize I was in desperate need of love and community. God met me there and showed me love through people, through His word and supernaturally in my life. He gave me peace, even life at home seemed better in those years. After accepting Christ at 15, I began encountering situations that revealed the shallowness of my faith. I fell away from the church and began to feel like an outsider, my shame made me feel like I did not belong. I had an emptiness inside that I tried to fill with all kinds of vices. I drank, I lost myself to relationships, I was overly trusting and took stupid risks, but God never left me. He protected me and gave me a confidence that He was always there watching over me. I always felt I wanted to return to Christianity, but I was ashamed of who I had become and I didn’t want to give up the sinful life I was living. When my parents divorced it brought me back to the same feelings I’d had as a child. I had been looking for so long for security and unconditional love. I looked at my life and knew that it wasn’t working, so I started attending a church and rededicated my life to Christ. In the years that followed, I struggled trying to reconcile my previous life and the new one I so desperately wanted. I lost a lot of friends, I felt a lot of loneliness and disconnection, but God sustained me. Now I am walking with a fellowship of believers and I not only feel love, but I feel acceptance. The life I have now feels like a miracle when I look at how far I have come.”

Maybe you’re like me, maybe you would judge your life as a little bit more on the “ordinary” side, but maybe we’re not giving God the credit He deserves. Nothing God does is ordinary when we look closely at how He has been working, maybe in big ways, maybe in small ways. If God has been working in your life, for the first time or for a long time, I know your story is worth telling.

Thanks to God, all our lives are extraordinary.

Kristen can be found at Abundant Life Covenant Church in Mountain View, CA. Join her at their services every Saturday at 4:30PM or on Sundays at 8:30AM & 11:00AM!

Original Article

WitnessSF “Annual” update: Year 1

A year in review of God’s faithfulness

Our little website launched in January of 2011, and it’s been a non-stop journey! WitnessSF.org would not be in existence if it weren’t for our communities and our readers. Please keep sharing your stories and living good stories! The world needs your stories of hope, faithfulness and redemption. We can’t keep count of the times people have personally thanked us for sharing our stories and encouraging them - our ministry is such that we won’t know the effects until much later or even ever… but we have faith in a God who moves mountains!

In January, our staff gathered in beautiful Bodega Bay to reflect upon the past year’s accomplishments. By the absolute grace of God, here are just few things we’d like to share with you.

Our regularly-contributing staff members has grown to 6:

• Jimmy - Content Editor
• Jeannie - Content Editor
• Christine - Content Editor
• Candice - Community Relations Coordinator
• Jason - Events Support
• Elani - Video/Media Producer
• Vadim - Website Administration

327 - Facebook Page Likes

14,014 - Unique visitors between January 2011 to current

26, 536 - Website hits between January 2011 to current
Top 5 most popular stories
1. Faith Reaction (2,571 hits)
2. About a Boy, Kind of (783 hits)
3. Having the Difficult Conversation with my Mom (773 hits)
4. The New Normal (770 hits)
5. A Love Story (701 hits)
Events:
- WitnessSF Launch event at Dolores Park (January 2011)
- “Back to School” Prayer Night at SF Lighthouse church (August 2011)
- Light up the City concert featuring Future of Forestry (December 2011)
- Nefarious: Merchant of Souls film screening, featuring Hosanna Wong (April 2012)

How you can help:
- Your prayers. Running this website is a lot of work. We all have full-time jobs. We need God’s grace to get it done.
- Your stories. WitnessSF is a platform. The content comes from YOU, our community. If you have a story to share, please contact an editor to get your story out there. We have found that sharing your personal story is not only healing for some, but encouraging to others.
- Your support. Tell people about WitnessSF. “Like” our Facebook page. “Like” our Facebook activity. Share the gospel. Pray pray pray.
With sincere thanks to our supporters, and much love,
- the WitnessSF Staff

Original Article

Our Self Worth

God can do tremendous things in our lives, if we are willing to hold onto Him and let him work through us. It’s when we put aside our selfishness of seeking only after our personal desires that He reveals to us His awesome plan.

When I was 23, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had just accepted a high end position in finance and was the envy of all of my friends and peers. I was awarded with my own office and a secretary.  I was thrilled to see the fruit of my hard work. After I accepted the position, I always introduced myself to strangers with my professional title and what I did. My introductions were not done to be boastful, but I wanted to make sure people knew my accomplishments and that I was someone of great worth. I was really proud of myself and needed the whole world to know.

A few months into the job, I realized that I didn’t like what I did. I found my work redundant, my 90 hour work week unbearable, and I was not passionate about my career. Regardless, I continued on. Maybe it was due to my stubbornness. Maybe it was due to my pride. Now looking back, it’s a combination of all that plus the inability to let go of a job that everyone else envied.  As time wore on, not only did my joy diminish, but my work performance began to slip. I just couldn’t seem to get anything right. When you made a small mistake in my line of business, the result could be the loss of millions of dollars. I wasn’t the only one to notice the poor work I was delivering. Whenever my senior associate caught one of my mistakes, he would berate me with condescending words and threaten my job security. His words killed the little confidence I had left, and I performed even worse. It got to the point where my partners had so little faith in me that they started diminishing my responsibilities and had me work on menial tasks.

My personal life also began to change. My outlet from the stress at work was alcohol and partying. I don’t know how many bottles of whiskey I finished during that period of my life. I was either in the office or at a bar. I felt I was always in a haze of drunken stupor and my motto in life was to just get through the day. On the surface, all of my friends assumed I was living the dream. All they saw was a well dressed professional always out in the social scene. No one knew of my struggles. I didn’t share it with anyone because I didn’t want people to think less of me. I didn’t want people to think I was a failure. I didn’t want people to think I was worthless. But beneath it all, I was dying inside.

One day, I reached a breaking point. I was on the phone with my mother and I completely broke down as I told her about all my failures and struggles. I couldn’t hold my life together anymore and sobbed uncontrollably. My parents were shocked and did their best to comfort me. They encouraged me to reach out to my community and not be so prideful about my struggles. So that Sunday, I showed up to church sober, for the first time in a year. I also made a commitment to attend bible study and surround myself with encouraging people that didn’t care about my job title. I figured I had nothing to lose because I had already tried everything I could on my own.

Through a revitalized prayer life and renewed intimacy with Jesus, I realized that my worth was not defined by the things I did but by who Jesus is. When He looks at me, he doesn’t see the dirty stains and the epic failures of my life. What He sees is His perfect son. All this time, I had allowed my occupation to define my worth in society. I made myself a promise that I would never again allow my title, my pay check, my office, and my accolades define my worth. Every day when I go to work, I am no longer working for my partners but for God. All I can do is give my best effort and give up control over the outcomes of my actions. When I am met with a difficult situation at work, I say a simple prayer and trust that He allows everything to happen for a reason. It’s no longer a reason for me to get down on myself. I have the freedom to choose what I think. I have the freedom to choose my actions. I am free from my insecurities and failures.

After that, I stopped stressing about work. My production improved or I just stopped noticing. A few months went by, and I was called into the office of my senior partner. Our fund had done very well in the past year and we finished our investment period earlier than expected. My position had become expendable and it was time to part ways. I had never felt so free in my life. That freedom came from God and I knew He was calling me to pursue my dreams. So I responded.

The day after my last day at work, I packed my car and I began my long drive from the Midwest to San Francisco. My dream had always been to build a startup in Silicon Valley. I didn’t have a job lined up, any family or friends in San Francisco, or even a place to live. However, to me, none of that mattered, because I knew He was with me.

Original Article

wSF Event: Nefarious: Merchant of Souls - April 26th

Join us for the screening of Nefarious: Merchant of Souls, an award winning documentary about human sex trafficking – a form of modern day slavery – produced by Exodus Cry, on Thursday, April 26 @ 7pm.

Original Article

What Do We Do?

Editor’s Note: WitnessSF.org is honored to feature stories from local ministries. re:ACTS Ministries is based in the SF Bay Area and supports local ministries in impoverished nations around the world. Here is co-founder Cliff’s story. We hope you are encouraged by how God’s love is transforming lives and will be moved to be a part of this important work wherever you are.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? (1 John 3:16-17)

I thought I understood this verse. I thought I was living it out, but God is funny and perfect at the same time, especially in His timing to teach me and shatter my view and perspective on things.

In 2009, I was 33. I had a wife, a good paying job, and my first daughter had just turned one. I had just spent the last 10 years of my life mentoring youth at my church. I was a worship leader and the choir director. I was extremely content with my life and where I was. I can also honestly say that I had grown the most and learned more about God’s word in those past few years than at any other time in my life. What’s the problem, you ask? Everything was going according to plan, yeah? Well, that’s the problem - the plan. Whose plan was this? It was mine and God was about the turn that plan upside down and make it His.

My friend had just come back from a short term mission trip in Thailand. I felt bad because even though he had given me a support letter, I just totally forgot about it. I thought the least I could do was see how it went. So when he got back, I called and asked him about the trip. We spent at least two hours talking – about how God was working in the church in Thailand, things they did to help, and how he saw God moving. He shared about the need for Christ’s message of redemption and hope for the people of Thailand. I felt excited as he was talking, but more so, I felt scared.

I told myself this was not the right time to go. My daughter had just turned one. There was so much I had to do at work and for the ministry at church. In truth, the timing couldn’t be worse. Nobody would blame me if I delayed going, but as we all know, God voice doesn’t simply go away. Each time I prayed, I felt God calling me to go to Thailand because there was something He wanted me to see and something He wanted me to learn. Long story short, I decided to listen to God. I decided to go despite the many people, Christians included, who were telling me not go because God wouldn’t want me to leave my family for two weeks. They kept trying to convince me that it wasn’t safe and how I should wait and be a responsible father. However, the more I looked into God’s word, the clearer and clearer it became that God doesn’t wait for our lives to become void of responsibility before He calls. He works on His own timing and I had to trust Him.

I was kind of kicking and screaming, but I went. I cried on the phone with my wife when I was at the airport, telling her that I wanted to come home and be with her and my daughter. She told me to stop being a baby and to man up. OK, maybe not in those words, but that’s what I heard.

What I had experienced and saw on that trip is hard to explain in these few paragraphs. I could probably write 50 pages on what I learned. I saw kids in Thailand who were being discipled by elders and who worshiped God with every ounce of their being. I saw kids who were madly in love with God and I saw this because of the work of the church there.

I also saw extreme hurt and suffering. I saw how kids were being sold into slavery because their families didn’t have money. I saw conditions and poverty I had never seen before and it began to break my heart. Not only did the kids have no money, they needed hope: a hope for salvation that only Christ could bring. God had brought me to Thailand to show me this and to ask myself some hard questions: Did I really love God like I professed? If I really loved God, how would I respond to this?

I came home as a changed man. God had taught me and showed me so much, but what was I going to do with all of this? I was at a loss for what to do next. I was just one person. I shared my feelings with another member of the Thailand mission team. A few of us decided to meet and talk about what God was placing on our hearts.

There were four of us there and little did I know that God was working in them the same way He was working in me. We all agreed that this was something God wanted us to take on, but what do we do? How do we start? All we knew was that the population of Thailand was less than one percent Christian and that so many kids there were suffering from things that no one should ever suffer. That night, God gave us the idea to start re:ACTS Ministries. Our group met every other week, prayed and prayed, and planned and planned. And by the grace of God, we are now a recognized charitable organization.

So what is re:ACTS Ministries and what do we do? We believe that the local church is the key to spreading the gospel. They are the ones doing the preaching of God’s word. They are the ones building up the next generation of disciples. re:ACTS exists to partner with local churches and orphanages in Southeast Asia. We raise funds to provide food, education, and shelter so they can focus on making disciples. We want to love these kids the way Jesus would – to clothe them, feed them, and just love them. We send teams throughout the year to encourage and help with discipleship. We want to let the kids know that we aren’t sending money to ease our own consciences, but that we truly love them because Christ loved us first.

Imagine these South East Asian young people with a passion to serve our Lord with their hearts alive and on fire to do His will and preach the good news of Jesus’ redemption and salvation. They are sent back to their home villages. They themselves become the missionaries. They begin to plant churches in their villages, build Christian schools and orphanages, and become Christian leaders in their workplace, where they preach the message of grace and forgiveness to all those around them. This is the multiplying effect that we are so fervently praying for. This is the vision that God has placed in our hearts. We know that this is not a small task, but we serve a big and mighty God.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” (1 John 3:16-17)

To find out more about re:ACTS ministries, visit their website at http://www.reactsministries.org/

Original Article

Do not resist the Holy Spirit!

Editor’s Note: I didn’t grow up in the church, so it’s always interesting to me to hear stories about people who did and want nothing to do with it anymore. Also interesting are those who come back and experience anew what it means to truly have a relationship with Jesus. My friend Joel shares about his journey back to Jesus through pain and loss, and how it has shaped his perspective on the complexities of living a faith-filled life.

“You always resist the Holy Spirit!,” accused Stephen in Acts 7:51. For most of my life Stephen could have very well been speaking to me. Despite growing up in an orthodox Conservative Baptist church, going to youth groups and Christian summer camps, and being raised in a family with ‘Christian’ rules and morals, I did not yield my life to the Holy Spirit until I was 20 years old.

At a very young age (5 or 6, perhaps) I asked Jesus to “come into my heart”, as I had learned to do in Sunday School.  I believe I did so genuinely because from that moment on I remember always believing in the God of the Bible as the only God and can identify many instances of feeling the Holy Spirit convict me of sin. Unfortunately, I either rejected or didn’t understand these burdensome thoughts and feelings.  Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would “convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:8), however it took the weight of the world to get me to respond to that conviction.

Looking back on it, I see that I always felt torn between living the life God wanted me to live and the life I wanted to live. I wanted to have good morals and principles and be surrounded by people who had them too. On the other hand, I loved my popularity and my relationships, I loved my flashy little truck and my cool possessions, I loved being fashionable and unique, and I loved partying and getting into mischief. I loved these things more than the Spirit who was telling me they were worthless compared to God. So, in the fall of 1999 when I went off to college at Southern Oregon University, God began the brutal yet merciful process of stripping me of them, one-by-one, in order to show me their true worth. By the summer of 2000, the relationships I had clung to for security were either tattered or non-existent, my popularity was a high school relic, my truck had been stolen, my mischief had gotten me evicted from my dorm and later landed me in court for the possession of alcohol as a minor, I had left my university after just one year with no prospects of what I would do next, and the list went on. Though these sufferings would have been minor for some, for me they felt like losing everything.  It felt like a midlife crisis at only 19.  God had successfully demonstrated right before my eyes that “everyone who hears these words of mine [Jesus] and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:26-27) It was “a great crash” indeed, but I thank God for it regularly because it was through this process that I began looking for peace and truth in Christian fellowship and the Bible—things I never took any real interest in despite always having them available to me.

During the Spring Quarter of my Freshman year in early 2000 I had hesitantly become involved with a small Christian club on my campus and had begun going to a local church with an Australian international student from the group who had befriended me. I sought out this group not for profound spiritual reasons, but for pretty selfish and childish ones: I wanted friends that wouldn’t be such a bad influence on me. I was honest about it though, both with myself and the group.  More than just nice people, this group provided me with my first real experience of being around Christians who read the Bible because they wanted to and went to church on their own accord—not because their family made them. It sounds cliché, but their faith was contagious and I began to catch of glimpse of God and of truth that I had never seen.  Some time during this phase I also began reading the Bible on my own.  While I had loads of scripture memorized from rote exercises in Sunday School, I had never opened the Bible and actually read it.  I’m not sure where I started, but all I remember was reading Romans at some point, getting to chapter 12, and having my brain thoroughly exploded by the words, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)  These were the powerful words I had been unconsciously yearning to hear and latch onto.  They were guidance in the midst of chaos; truth in a world of confusion and lies.  It was a paradigm shift for me and kick-started my quest to understand this Bible and this God that had caused it.  The rest of 2000 wasn’t pretty, but the process of finally yielding to the Holy Spirit had begun.

By January 2001, I was in California, attending UC-Santa Cruz, and had finally surrendered to the idea of living as a Christian.  With the help of InterVarsity’s ministry and a few great Christian friends who I met through the fellowship, I was daily becoming more committed to trying to obey and understand God and the scriptures as well as to finding my life’s purpose through Christian fellowship and service, instead of the things that had previously brought me dissatisfaction and pain.  After much study, prayer, and conviction, I eventually finalized this new life on October 3, 2005 by being baptized by immersion in the Pacific Ocean in Aptos, California. Amen!  Of course things are never that simple.

Initially, yielding to the truth and lifestyle of Christianity was primarily a means of escaping this world of pain and temporal pleasure that I had become so frustrated with. Christianity provided truth, meaning, peace, and purpose for me that I had never known. By 2003 this journey had progressed to me wanting to know more about the God I was worshipping and be wholly content in his love for me. God responded by ushering me into a long season of painful healing and inner transformation that allowed him to shine his light on many previously unexamined, dark and idolatrous areas of my heart. Slow and uncomfortable as it was, this deepened my understanding and experience of his grace, forgiveness, and mercy thereby making the Gospel more real and experiential to me and less intellectual, systematic, and religious. Eventually this season began to fade and overlap with an even longer, slower season of learning to yield even more to the Holy Spirit, one day at a time.  This is where I find myself today. And it is here, having now been given a proper perspective of God, that I have given myself to exploring the history, complexities, and controversies of Christianity in an effort to better understand my faith and how I can best demonstrate it in an antagonistic, broken world.  This latest phase in my journey has been governed by the Holy Spirit’s constant reminder that “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” (James 4:17)  Whether it’s in matters of personal holiness or pursuing the good works that God has saved me to do, the message to me has not changed since the day I prayed to Jesus as young boy: Do not resist the Holy Spirit!  The only difference is that now I’m listening.

Joel writes at “Journey Toward Justice,” a blog that explores what it looks like to journey though life, towards Jesus, and towards justice in a broken world.

Original Article

The Meaning of Marriage

Our Editor Jimmy discuss the meaning of marriage and how Jesus impacts one of the most important promise we may make in our lifetime.

Growing up, I had the ideal family. My parents had a great relationship and I only recall seeing them fight a handful of times. I naturally assumed that a good and happy marriage was the status quo and all I needed to do was to meet the right person. As I got older and began to fall in and out of relationships, I grew frustrated at the fact I couldn’t find the perfect girl. She was always not smart enough or pretty enough. Her voice sounded funny or she was too needy and clingy.  She wasn’t good enough, had too much baggage or had an unforgivable past. No matter what it was, I always found something in that other person to push them away.

Fast forward to the end of my most recent relationship. Things ended. I was extremely confused and really don’t know what happened. We both loved each other but we just couldn’t make it work. Before getting into the relationship, we were two selfless individuals that wanted nothing but the best for the other person. So how did we become so selfish when we began dating? In search of answers, I took a trip back home and went to my father for advice on how he was able to find the perfect woman in my mother. His answer was shocking. For the first time, he admitted to both my mother and I that he had a very difficult time dealing with my mother’s mood swings and foul temper. There were several occasions where he didn’t think the marriage was going to last. However, he stuck it out because he put his family first and he took his selfish needs out of the equation. He saw the bigger picture of providing a secure home for my mom and me. He loved my mother and I the way Jesus loved.

After hearing those words, I realized that I’ve never made that sort of commitment to anyone in my life. In every relationship, my selfishness always took over and shifted the focus away from being a servant to what I can get out of the other person. No healthy relationship can exist that way. Then, I began digging through my memory bank to see if I’ve ever personally experienced a healthy relationship. A person that saw my darkest secrets, yet still loved me the same. A person who was proud of me, even at my most disappointing moment. A person that offered me grace when I deserved nothing but punishment… and I found one:  the relationship I have with Jesus. He is the ultimate lover, forgiver, and nurturer. I know I can go to Him at any time and he never looks at me with disdain even though I am covered with sin.

So what does this have to do with marriage? I realized that I am married. I got married when I was baptized. My baptism represents my union between myself and God. Jesus is my ultimate lover and He is better to me than I am to myself. In our relationship, He is the unrelenting giver. He sees how I cheat, disrespect, and live unfaithfully. Yet, He is always waiting by the door, waiting to embrace me when I return. And it’s through His promise that I can be filled spiritually so one day I can love my wife like Jesus.

Marriage is a promise. Marriage is a promise that will stand for the rest of my life. It is the promise to act lovingly even when you don’t feel loving. It is the promise to sacrifice your own desires for the sake of keeping a family united. It is the promise to do what is right for the other person versus what feels right to me. It is the promise to love with action vs. feelings or words. It is the promise of granting unlimited grace and mercy. It is the promise that will define me at heaven’s gate. It is the promise I will make to God to cherish and love the greatest gift He will every deliver. And I only know this because it is the same promise Jesus had made to me.

The difference is after Jesus made those promises, He lives it everyday. I can’t because I am human. I will always fall short. However, I had a paradigm shift and realized that one of my major purposes in life is to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving up everything that belongs to my selfish heart and dedicating my life to serving my best friend, my wife. It is my commitment to try every moment to live as a reflection of Jesus. Marriage is not a place where I go to derive love. That can only be filled through my marriage with Jesus because I can only fill my love tank through the One that loved me first. It is written in Ephesians 22-23: ²²Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. The reason why wives should submit to their husband is because the husband first promised to love his wife like the way Jesus loved us first. This means the husband agreed to sacrifice himself to be the ultimate servant to his wife, the same way Jesus did with us. In return, the women should submit to the husband’s love and allow him to lead the relationship closer to Christ.

As a single person, it is so easy for me to write all this because I have yet to make the promise of marriage. However, I do believe that preparation for marriage doesn’t start with when we are standing in front of an alter announcing my marriage vows. It doesn’t start when I meet the perfect girl. It starts today, when I stand alone. Marriage is the opportunity for me to live as a reflection of Jesus, to love another person the way He did. And that is more fulfilling then anything I can gain in this world.

Jesus, I pray You make me into the man my future wife needs me to be.

Original Article

From Broken to Butterfly

Editor’s Note: Freedom House is a home for survivors of slavery and human trafficking in the Bay Area. The
first shelter of its kind in Northern California, they provide long-term aftercare for adult female
survivors of sex or labor trafficking. Their mission is to provide survivors with the care and
services they need to rebuild their lives. For more information, see www.freedomhousesfbay.org.

As a faith-based organization, Freedom House’s hope is that the residents of Freedom House will come to
know Jesus Christ. Having suffered from severe trauma, these women need a lot of spiritual care to have their human dignity restored. They offer weekly Bible study and fellowship nights, and the staff regularly prays for and with the residents. The greatest example of Christ’s love comes through the love and support of the staff and volunteers. Praise God, several women have accepted Christ during their stay at the home. It’s a blessing to see these women come out of their pain and darkness into a place hope and faith.

WitnessSF is honored and blessed to have featured stories from non-profits in the San Francisco Bay Area, doing amazing work. We first featured Freedom House with a story from a survivor, “Living in Freedom.”

I hope this story blesses you and moves you to be blessing in your local community. - Jeannie

 
Lana (not real name), a survivor of sex trafficking who recently graduated from the Freedom House program, shares her story of transformation and redemption.
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No words can ever describe Freedom House. When you leave the world we come from you feel robbed of all that you are. Because of Freedom House I now know the true meaning of compassion, kindness, friendship, and trust. I have never felt wanted or like I belonged anywhere in this world, but as I write this I can say I have found a home and a family I know I will always have. I have found love from so many amazing women, from staff, volunteers, and my fellow sisters living in this house.

When I arrived at Freedom House my case manager gave me strength in my heart, mind, and soul once again. I owe so much to her and am grateful for the kindness she showed me. Without her I don’t think I could have accomplished what I have.

I am so grateful for all of the staff. They have done so much for me, for no other reason than it is the right and kind thing to do. I will always keep the wonderful memories I have shared with the staff close to my heart. I have kept them all up until the sun rises, talking, laughing, and joking.

Freedom House is a place I thought no longer existed in this world. When I was forced to become a prostitute I saw the ugly my family warned me of, and I believed that the world no longer possessed good. This home that the staff has worked so hard to create is a place for women like me to feel safe and see what beauty God has to give. My only wish for Freedom House is that it expands around the world to help so many more people that are in need of the love that is created in this house.

I have learned so much living here. I have learned how to empower myself, to stand tall and strong for myself. How to live with such vast variety of cultures. How to live with people full of imperfections and encourage my fellow sisters to thrive for strength and happiness. I have even learned to speak words from other languages and customs from other cultures.

I came to this house scared, broken down, and discouraged. I leave this house, and the only fear I possess is I will not have the women of Freedom House in my daily interactions. I leave with the fire in my heart to do all that I dream of. I leave a stronger woman then I ever was or ever hoped to be. I will never have a home like this one, and I will always miss my one true home.

God bless Freedom House and all the people that work so hard for us. I wish nothing but blessings for my sisters and my future sisters of Freedom House. I pray that God give his kindness to the Angels he has sent to Freedom House to help us. They are all Angels. I love you all, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Always,
A Fellow Free Butterfly

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Freedom House invites you to the 3rd Annual Freedom House Gala! Join us for a lively night
of celebration and coming together in the fight against modern day slavery. Get your tickets at
www.freedomhouse2012.eventbrite.com.

Original Article

Trusting His Plan for the Orphans

“Rather than questioning God as to why He had allowed my hand to be burned, I was asking, ‘Why was I adopted and not one of these little kids? Why me?’ My heart and mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that I had been adopted when there were thousands of other children waiting for families.”  Although we many not understand all the injustices in this world, like Kelsi, we must do what is in our power and trust in the God of Justice for that which we cannot do without Him.

“When bad things happen in our lives, it’s easy to find ourselves questioning God and asking Him, “Why me?” I’ve been there and I’ve asked those questions to God, repeatedly. I’ve sat and wallowed in self-pity for the ways in which I felt God had done me wrong. For me, these feelings arose from a physical deformity. My right hand was severely burned when I was a baby and I have little use of it as well as large scars as a result. Growing up looking different from other kids was hard and I remember days when I came home sobbing because of something someone had said or the way other kids stared at me. I hated how I looked and I would cry to God and ask Him why He had allowed this to happen to me and why I was even here.

All of this changed when I went to China in June 2011. I was adopted from China at about two and a half years old into a loving Christian family in America. I always knew I had been blessed to be adopted, but there were always questions in the back of my mind wondering how my life would have turned out had I grown up in China and who I would be as a person. This was the first time I was going back to China since I had been adopted.

I went with an organization called ShowHope, which was founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth. ShowHope is dedicated to caring for orphans by meeting their physical and spiritual needs, and also caring for them in the long run by financially helping families to adopt. Our mission team was going to China to visit Maria’s Big House of Hope, which cared for about 120 special needs orphans in the Henan Province of China.

For me, this was a very personal trip to able to visit and meet children who were in the same position I was in twenty years ago. Looking into the faces of these little boys and girls, I saw myself there. Spending time at Maria’s Big House of Hope revealed a startling new perspective of the question “Why me?” Rather than questioning God as to why He had allowed my hand to be burned, I was asking, “Why was I adopted and not one of these little kids? Why me?” My heart and mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that I had been adopted when there were thousands of other children waiting for families. The little boys and girls I had met were just as needy and deserving of a family as I had been and there was nothing I had done to be more deserving of a family than them. I struggled with this reality presented to me and my heart broke as I asked God why. Why had I been adopted when so many children were not and were left to grow up in an orphanage?

The reality of my life today, contrasted with what it could have looked like, was portrayed most distinctly in meeting a young woman named Stacey who had been orphaned at four years old. Stacey and I hit it off immediately, not only were we both twenty-one, but we both also carried scars from the result of extreme burns. Her scars ran further and covered her arms, her legs, and part of her face. Looking at her was like looking into a mirror of how my life could have ended up. The circumstances in our lives were so similar, except for the fact that I had been adopted and she had not. Why? Why had I been adopted and she hadn’t?

I don’t have the answers to any of these questions. Neither will I pretend to even begin to understand why God allows certain things to happen, such as children who are abandoned and rejected. But after coming home from China, I will never look at my life and my family in the same way again. Through this trip, God has demonstrated to me a new perspective of grace and it broke me. I’ve witnessed firsthand that it is by grace that I had been adopted, because there was nothing I had done to ever be deserving of a family. And I know and believe that it is grace that has placed Stacey at Shepherd’s Field Children’s Village, a medical care facility for special needs orphans near Beijing, where she is taken care of and loved by a Christian staff.

And although I still at times ask and wonder about the question “Why me?” I know the One who holds all of my questions and I know that He also holds me. I have learned through this trip that although I may not understand nor see what God may be doing or how He is working, what He asks of me is to simply trust Him. I am learning to trust Him with the situations and circumstances in my life that cause me to ask the question why. I am learning to trust Him with the lives of the little children I have met and loved in China and the uncertainty in their futures. And I believe and trust that God has a plan for each orphan child in China and all the children around the world, just as He had a plan for my life.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

Kelsi Macklin attends Reality SF, located at 2174 Market Street, San Francisco at the Swedish American Hall. Sunday gatherings are at 9am, 11am and 5pm.

Original Article

No Shame

When and why do we feel shame or embarrassment? Where did we learn what to hide and who to hide it from? Susan shares her thoughts, as she observes her children and the way they’re learning these things for the first time.

Preface from Susan: I am a mother of 3 beautiful children. My daughter Hope is 6 going on 7, and Anna is just a year behind her. My son, Joshua, is 9 years old and has autism, developmental disability and a host of other “special needs”. He is one of God’s great gifts to me in my life.  Through parenting Joshua, I feel that I’ve been mercifully tethered to suffering, servanthood, a chaotic household and a life full of desperate prayers.  The day we adopted Josh was the beginning of a completely unexpected but wonderful adventure.  I’ve been trying to write stories and reflections about life with Joshua mostly as a way for me to process the life that I’ve been given.  It is a great joy to me when people share a sense of connection to our journey, whether they are part of the special needs parenting community or not.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about embarrassment and shame. Josh has never exhibited having a sense of shame. He does not hide things. He has never lied to me. As far as I have seen, his brain is not wired to be socially connected or aware enough to experience shame. He is nine years old and he does not care if anyone sees him naked. He just walks through life being pretty much who he is and he does not put any of his energy into managing other people’s opinions of him. Josh doesn’t care about that sort of thing at all. It’s kind of beautifully free.

My observation is that the rest of us spend lots of time and energy managing our own images. If we are honest, every conversation, every expression, (even every blogpost!) has some element of shaping how we want others to see us. And at the very bottom of that is a sense of insecurity, fear that we are not quite OK just how we are. We are concerned about how others see us and when we find ourselves in situations where others might (or do) see us in a negative light, we are embarrassed and ashamed.

This develops amazingly early in typically developing people. For example, the other day, I had given Anna, my five year old, some smoothie for breakfast. We were running late so I put it in a sippy cup to drink in the car. Generally, we don’t use sippy cups anymore because everyone can handle normal cups but I did manage to dig one out. Anna hadn’t finished the smoothie in the car so I told her that she could bring it into school with her, put it in her cubby, and finish it during first recess. Anna thought about it for a moment and then covered the sippy cup with a jacket and carried her backpack awkwardly over them both.

I said to her, “What are you doing? Here, let me carry that for you.”

Anna whispered in a greatly annoyed, anxious voice, “No, mom. People might see that I have a sippy cup and they might think that I’m a baby!”

Now, I know that it’s quite developmentally normal for kindergarteners to want to differentiate themselves from “babies”. However, I was struck by her desire to hide, to manage what others saw of her. She was developing a fear based impulse to be hyper aware of how others might see her. I know that some people live in this fear their whole lives. Maybe she’s right. Maybe the other kids would make fun of her but the mom in me was still sad to see the chains of image management beginning to have a place in my innocent baby’s life.

I put the picture of Adam and Eve at the top of this post because I’ve been thinking about their story. It’s a story of the freedom and innocence that was God’s original intention for us crushed by the sinful reality of our hearts (and this world). They were naked in the garden because, being totally dependent on God, they did not have to cover themselves up. They were free to be fragile creatures and still be okay because they were in a complete trust relationship with a God who fully took care of them. Only with the advent of independence came the need to cover and protect themselves. That independence from God were the beginnings of shame, anxiety, fig leaves, image management and so much more.

I long for the freedom and innocence of the garden. I get so sick of living in this world of deceptive image management. I’m tired of being a woman in a culture where the message is that you have to be super skinny to be physically affirmed. I wish I could stop wondering if I was smart or friendly or charming or witty enough in this or that conversation. I yearn to be able to live just one day not being concerned about how others are evaluating me. Wouldn’t that be so amazing? Just to be who you are and not be worried about it? There is a part of me that admires that part of my son who is free in this way. He just is who he is, take him or leave him.

I had an encouraging moment with my other daughter, Hope, the other day. We are needing to find a better school placement for Josh so we checked out the special education class at Hope’s school (Josh is currently at a different school). When I told her that it was probably not a good fit for Josh, Hope started to cry.

“But I want Josh to go to my school!” she lamented. “I want to see him everyday, Mommy!”

As I comforted her, I cherished the fact that, Hope is not (yet) concerned about being associated with this kid who walks around flapping and making strange noises. She is aware that he is different but she is not embarrassed by him. When we go out in public and Josh has his hands down the back of his pants, she just says, “Hands out, Joshie!” Her love for him trumps shame. I love the freedom of this innocence. I am writing this blogpost to help me to remember it.

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Editor’s Note: Miranda here! I was extremely blessed by Susan’s sharing today because her piece reminds me of the lives that we were created to live, that God intended for us to enjoy ourselves in complete freedom and innocence. But because of the weakness of our flesh, dating all the way back to Eve’s first bite of that forbidden fruit, we were condemned to a life limited by the sinful nature of our human bodies - aware, self-conscious, and insecure.

Thankfully, that’s not the end of the story. We have a God that sees us for who we are, and loves us despite all the shame and messyness of our hearts and minds. Even after we surrendered our God-given rights to a direct relationship with Him when our forefather and mother walked out those Garden of Eden Gates, God still had a plan: He presented us a way to be with Him and to reunite with Him one day in Heaven through the sacrifice of His holy and perfect son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross if only to pave the way for us with His sinless blood. Just as Hope’s love for Josh trumps shame, so does God’s love for us. I am so thankful for that, and am encouraged to continue living for God - for there is no shame or embarrassment in the life that He created for us!

I am also thankful for Susan’s post for another reason… This month, WitnessSF will be sharing some stories focused on Social Justice. Normally when I hear that term, I think of slavery, human sex trafficking and other such extreme cases, but I realize that social justice is really about recognizing the rights and dignities of every human being around us, no matter the person or situation.. and that includes special needs kids such as Josh.

You can follow Susan at her personal blog, as she continues sharing about her life parenting Josh, Hope, and Anna, while raising awareness for children with special needs. Susan can be found at Vineyard Christian Fellowship of the Peninsula, where her husband Alex serves as the lead pastor. VCFP meets at 10 am at Cubberley Community Center, 4000 Middlefield Rd in Palo Alto every Sunday, feel free to drop in and say hello to the Van Reisens there if you get a chance!

Original Article